**Dealing with the Pain of Ghosting in a Deep Friendship**
Experiencing “ghosting” from a dear friend is profoundly unsettling—especially when that friend has been a steady presence through life’s twists and turns. You shared deep emotions, yearly holiday traditions, and weekly phone calls. Both of you are psychotherapists, and her and her husband have played important roles in your life.
However, some patterns in your friendship have caused strain. Her husband’s unsolicited comments, which you accepted as part of who they are, have not sat well with your husband, who finds them judgmental. At a dinner in December, her husband made an unkind remark about your son’s wife, which led your husband to call out the comment as obnoxious. You apologized to your husband, but your friend felt betrayed, accusing you of “throwing her under the bus.” Since then, she has refused to communicate and expressed hatred toward your husband.
Given their history of clashes and your efforts to navigate these complex dynamics, it’s understandable that siding with your husband felt like a breaking point for her. Your attempts to reach out—sharing your trauma history and vulnerability—have gone unanswered. This silence has triggered deep feelings of grief, obsessive ruminations, insomnia, and depression requiring medication to manage.
**Understanding and Processing the Pain**
It’s painful to realize that people we love can show unexpected sides of themselves, and ghosting can deeply wound our self-esteem and sense of worth. Your feelings of abandonment and self-blame are natural responses, especially given your trauma history. Seeking professional support during this time is important to help you process the impact.
While the ghosting may have felt sudden, it’s worth reflecting on whether other painful behaviors preceded this rupture. The ongoing conflict between your husband and your friend has placed you in a difficult, divided position. Consider taking a balanced look at your friendship over the years: How often have you made excuses or compromises for your friend’s behavior? Have there been warning signs or “truer colors” you chose to overlook?
Friendships evolve, and sometimes distancing ourselves is part of that process, not necessarily a reflection of personal failure. By examining the relationship objectively, you may lessen the tendency to internalize blame.
**Cultivating Compassion and Self-Care**
Your words suggest you may be feeling shame—“practically begging” for reconciliation and emphasizing your professional role as a psychotherapist. Remember, you are human, and this experience is deeply painful. From one mental health professional to another: what would you say to a client or loved one who came to you with this story? I hope this reflection grants you permission to offer yourself the same kindness and compassion you readily give others.
Grieving this friendship is natural. You’ve shared a long history, and learning to live without her presence will take time. Still, there are ways to make grief less paralyzing. What foundational self-care can you nurture right now? How might you open yourself to new friendships or deepen bonds with others who offer mutual support?
**Moving Forward: Creating Closure and New Beginnings**
Ghosting often signals someone’s inability to handle difficult emotions or conversations, leading them to avoid the relationship entirely. Despite your efforts to fight for this friendship, relationships require reciprocity. We cannot force others to engage with us.
At some point, you will need to create closure on your own terms. When that time comes, I hope you find ways to honor both who you were in this friendship and who you can be without it—embracing the possibilities of a new chapter filled with connection, understanding, and genuine care.
https://newsindiatimes.com/ask-sahaj-i-was-ghosted-by-a-lifelong-friend-how-do-i-move-on/